What foods are safe for dogs to eat?

"What foods are safe for dogs to eat?", is pretty much the question that every dogface owner asks themselves at some point because we're not all-knowing petlords at birth. Actually, some of us don't know shit about the animals we're in charge of, like me. So I've compiled this super-fucking-cool list of what foods are safe for dogs to eat and what they shouldn't eat. It's (hopefully) ever-growing along with the list of citations from where the information on this page came from! It's all the wikipedias, baby. I hope this helps both you and your dog be less anxious about that lemon it just ate.


  • Bananas

    Rich in potassium and vitamin C!

  • Cashews

    Dogs love magnesium

  • Blueberries

    High in antioxidants!

  • Pumpkin

    It's always Thanksgiving!

  • Kiwis

    Good source of that vitamin c and potASSium

  • Pineapple

    Freeze it first to watch your dog make stupid faces!

  • Strawberries

    High in fiber and antioxidants! Oh yeah!

  • Sweet Potatoes

    It's always Thanksgiving!

  • Pasta & Rice

    No sauces though.

Yup, but...

  • Apples

    No seeds for dogs!

  • Lemons

    Do your dogs like bitter?

  • Oranges

    Super high in natural sugar, moderate

  • Peaches

    Do not give them the pit, it might not come out the other end!

  • Watermelon

    Who doesn't love it!? Don't give them rinds!


  • Avocados

    Might make 'em puke! Grosssss!!11!!1!!

  • Cherries

    Can cause cyanide poisoning in bigly amounts

  • Grapes

    Kidney failure :(

  • Raisins

    Wrinkly Kidney failure :(

  • Booze

    Don't be an idiot, your dog is nailed to the X

  • Coffee & Caffeine

    Methylxanthines are bad :(

  • Cocoa & Chocolate

    Methylxanthines are bad :(

  • Macadamia Nuts

    They give 'em the ree-roms about 12 hours after ingestion

  • Onions & Garlics & Chives

    Takes a lot but why worry?

  • Salty Snacks

    Don't give them your trash junk food

  • Yeasty Dough

    It rises in their guts!

What foods are safe for dogs to eat

Doggie Dog Ice Cream Recipe

This is the recipe for Doggy Ice Cream that we feed our dogs. It’s totally complete here and free. I just gave you the option to give me a buck if your dogs are super into this jazzy Doggy Dog Ice Cream. It’s just one of the ways you can say, “thanks for being a person who isn’t total shit ALL of the time, homie!” One of the dogs only has three legs! That isn’t because of the ice cream though. It’s really frozen yogs-hurt anyway.

The Doggy Dog Ice Cream Ingredients:

  1. 1 HEAPIN’ Regular Household Eatin’ Tablespoon of Peanut Butter (without Xylitol!) – There is no reason to get like really expensive nut butter for Doggy Dog Ice Cream because dogs lick their own assholes.
  2. A healthy teaspoon-ish of honey (from bee butts) – Hopefully we’ll have honey from our own St. Louis Urban Bees next year!
  3. 1 overflowing cup of Greek Yogurt – We buy it from Costco. Welcome to Costco, we love you.
  4. A single peeled banana – I’m the only one who eats the brown gross bananas in the house, well me and the dogs. So these dumb mutts are stealin’ my nanners.

If you (and your doggers!) find that this recipe is inexpensive, healthy, and easy consider throwing a buck my way.

We'd surely appreciate it!