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  • i like

    i like (2)

  • Patronage

    Patronage (3)

    "Patronage is the support, encouragement, privilege, or financial aid that an organization or individual bestows to another. In the history of art, arts patronage refers to the support that kings, popes, and the wealthy have provided to artists such as musicians, painters, and sculptors." Here you'll find ways to donate to a lackluster artist and help fuel all the weird that I need to maintain... life.
  • Prints

    Prints (2)

  • Sketchbooks

    Sketchbooks (27)

    Every page of every sketchbook all tied up in one place. Browse through mountains of crap until you find the one thing that speaks to you, then buy that sonofabitch before you forget. That's how you miss out on art.
  • T-Shirts

    T-Shirts (34)

  • The St. Louis Art Machine

    The St. Louis Art Machine (3)

  • 15/f/tx

    $20.00$24.50 Select options

    This super-soft, baby-knit t-shirt looks great on both men and women – it fits like a well-loved favorite. Made from 100% cotton, except for heather colors, which contain polyester.

    • 100% ring-spun cotton (heather colors contain polyester)
    • Baby-knit jersey
    • Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
    • Cover stitched and hemmed sleeves
    • Side-seamed


  • A Chicken Drumstick That Runs a Chicken Farm Just Found His Henhouse Raided by a Fox & Drawing Ideas – 10×8 Mini Poster

    $10.00 Add to cart

    The feathers. My God, the feathers. They’re everywhere. I’ve never seen so many.

    Some ideas are good, some ideas are bad, some ideas are on this list and I haven’t drawn them yet.

    This 10″ x 8″ mini-poster has been digitally printed in America on acid-free, archival matte paper. This piece of shit is sure to last you a lifetime and will most likely curse your children’s walls as well.


  • A Large One Topping Pizza From Mr. X’s Pizza + A Tip

    $20.00 Add to cart

    You’re buying me a 16″ Sunrise Pizza (NEW! Hamburger, Bacon, Onions, Green Peppers, Topped with Cracked Egg) from Mr. X’s Pizza on Morganford Road in South St. Louis, Missouri. This pizza is like a gift to people with hangovers. I quit drinking years ago so I don’t get hangovers anymore but I’m a huge fan of any food that you can put an egg in. And guess what? MR X PUT AN EGG IN PIZZA WHAT?


  • A Turtle Mowing The Lawn & One of Those Fish Tank Pirates With Its Head Off – 10×8 Mini Poster

    $10.00 Add to cart

    I ran over a turtle while I was mowing the lawn when I was like 12 or 13. It wasn’t traumatic or anything is just scared the ever loving shit out of me, and then I felt really bad like I should have been watching for tutle x’ing signs. And let’s be fair – the smug bastard would have mowed me over had he the opportunity.

    Questions to be answered: Did his head come off naturally? Was there any foul play suspected? What’s up with all the treasure in that chest?

    This 10″ x 8″ mini-poster has been digitally printed in America on acid-free, archival matte paper. This piece of shit is sure to last you a lifetime and will most likely curse your children’s walls as well.


  • Ask Me About Jury Nullification T-Shirt

    Ask Me About Jury Nullification T-Shirt

    $20.00$23.00 Select options

    Inspired by this post on reddit, here’s the t-shirt that is guaranteed* to get your ass held in contempt of court. Not that you have to wear this specifically on days you’re potentially serving on a jury – it’s a good everyday wear just to inform people about jury nullification.

    Jury Nullification Fun Facts!
    1. Juries in New England in general and in Massachusetts in particular and in Boston most particular, juries would frequently find obvious violators of the Fugitive Slave Law of 1850 not guilty. They just up and thought convicting someone of that was wrong.Did they have a fancy justification — the Fugitive Slave Law was a clear violation of the Ninth and Tenth Amendments, enacted without regard to the enumerated powers in Article 1, Section 8 — or just think slavery was an abomination?

      Either way: harbor a fugitive slave in or near Boston or fail to assist in the recovery of that slave, and there’s a real chance you’ll walk, even if you were charged and tried for it.

      Thanks, jury nullification.

    2. When cases of people violating corporation-backed laws banning labor unions and/or labor union organizing, juries would often find obvious violators not guilty.
    3. Juries can find a defendant not guilty on marijuana charges, or other drug charges. They don’t have to explain their reasoning behind the verdict; they just deliver a verdict, so it’s hard to tell how often this happens. But it surely happens. Probably more often, now, when things that are crimes in one state are not crimes just a few miles away.
    4. A few years ago, a local prosecutor somewhere ended up dropping the charges against a defendant charged with a marijuana offense, because he simply couldn’t get an entire jury that was willing to consider convicting the defendant.Not quite sure this is jury nullification. Had they kept their mouths shut, they could have gotten a free lunch during deliberations, and still let the defendant go free.

      Sure it is. Even the possibility of jury nullification can have a good effect.

    5. More than one of the founding fathers of this country stated quite explicitly that right of jurors to judge not only the facts of the case, but also the justice of the law, or its applicability in the case they were trying.
    6. The line about the boxes that we can use to preserve our liberties being the soap box (First Amendment), ballot box (voting), and jury box (jury nullification) is pretty much self-explanatory.Even if you can’t convince people a law is unjust, and you can’t vote in elected officials who will repeal it, you can as a juror at least keep it from hurting a harmless person by refusing to convict, at that person’s trial.

    The more you know, etc.

    This American Apparel t-shirt is the smoothest and softest t-shirt you’ll ever wear. Made of fine jersey, it has a durable, vintage feel. These classic-cut shirts are known for their premium quality, as well as ability to stand up to a washing machine (will maintain size and color after many washes).

    • Fine jersey
    • Slim fit
    • Double stitched
    • made in the USA, sweatshop free

    *I have no idea if this is true.


  • Bad Parenting Kangaroo & Hippo w/ Shrimp on a Skewer – 10×8 Mini Poster

    $10.00 Add to cart

    Hey-o! We get it, there are many different types of people in the world and many different ways of parenting. I bet you $5 you wouldn’t say shit to this kangaroo Mom.

    Is the Hippo really excited because he’s about to eat those shrimp or because you’re here? IT’S BOTH!

    This 10″ x 8″ mini-poster has been digitally printed in America on acid-free, archival matte paper. This piece of shit is sure to last you a lifetime and will most likely curse your children’s walls as well.


  • Bernal Sphere / art by Rick Guidice

    $31.00$32.50 Select options

  • Bernal Sphere 2 / art by Rick Guidice

    $31.00$32.50 Select options

  • Bernal Sphere 3 / art by Rick Guidice

    $31.00$32.50 Select options

  • Bernal Sphere 4 / art by Rick Guidice

    $31.00$33.00 Select options

  • Bernal Sphere 5 / art by Rick Guidice

    $31.00$33.00 Select options

  • Bernal Sphere 6 / art by Rick Guidice

    $31.00$33.00 Select options

  • Bird on a Wire Walking a Tightrope & Watermelonface – 10×8 Mini Poster

    $10.00 Add to cart

    You know how the name Watermelonface strikes fear into you before you even saw the picture of Watermelonface? That’s not a superpower, he is just really, really weird. And he can’t talk. That’s not a mouth, it’s just a slice of his face someone cut out.

    I’ve never seen a bird that had problems walking alone an electric or telephone line but if I did I’d try to hand him a stick to help balance him out.

    This 10″ x 8″ mini-poster has been digitally printed in America on acid-free, archival matte paper. This piece of shit is sure to last you a lifetime and will most likely curse your children’s walls as well.


  • Sale!

    Boxes (10 pk, laser cut & scored)

    $2.00 $1.00 Add to cart

    They’re cut by lassssers, man! These boxes are cut to the most exacting of specifications which is super weird because we’re not exactly the most exacting of specifications ourselves! The laser scoring didn’t cut as deep as I would have liked, so I’m putting these on deep discount. Get ’em while they’re hot!

    Download the file and make your own, oh boy!


  • Sale!

    Boxes (20 pk, laser cut & scored)

    $4.00 $1.75 Add to cart

    They’re cut by lassssers, man! These boxes are cut to the most exacting of specifications which is super weird because we’re not exactly the most exacting of specifications ourselves! The laser scoring didn’t cut as deep as I would have liked, so I’m putting these on deep discount. Get ’em while they’re hot!

    Download the file and make your own, oh boy!


  • Buy me a cheap-ass cup of gas station coffee.

    $1.75 Add to cart

    It’s about as simple as it gets: it’s hot, it’s coffee colored, and hopefully it’s not too burnt. I’m not a turbo coffee aficionado but I do like grabbing a cup here and there when I’m out and about in the world. I’m on my third year without drinking alcohol so hot caffeine injections (giggity) are one of my favorites.

    Thanks to Erich for the cup of joe!


  • Caterpillar & A Wormdo – 10×8 Mini Poster

    $10.00 Add to cart

    I hope that caterpillar turns into a beautiful butterfly. Or a bottle of ranch dressing. I’m eating hot wings while I’m typing this.

    What’s a Wormdo?
    This 10″ x 8″ mini-poster has been digitally printed in America on acid-free, archival matte paper. This piece of shit is sure to last you a lifetime and will most likely curse your children’s walls as well.


  • Chainsaw Ballerina & Picnic Table Rodeo – 10×8 Mini Poster

    $10.00 Add to cart

  • Chef Alligator Walin’ on the Harmonica & A Clam Eating Cotton Candy Underwater – 10×8 Mini Poster

    $10.00 Add to cart

    I’m not sure why he’s playing the harmonica and I really don’t remember what that lean is all about. Maybe he’s just a-swayin’ with the music. Who knows! You can decide for yourself!

    If you don’t like this clam eating cotton candy you don’t like apple butter.

    This 10″ x 8″ mini-poster has been digitally printed in America on acid-free, archival matte paper. This piece of shit is sure to last you a lifetime and will most likely curse your children’s walls as well.


  • Cylinders / art by Rick Guidice

    $31.00$33.00 Select options

  • Cylinders 2 / art by Rick Guidice

    $31.00$33.00 Select options

  • Cylinders 3 – art by Rick Guidice

    $31.00$33.00 Select options

  • Cylinders 4 / art by Rick Guidice

    $31.00$33.00 Select options

  • Cylinders 5 / art by Rick Guidice

    $31.00$33.00 Select options

  • Doggie dog ice cream!

    Doggy Dog Ice Cream Recipe

    $1.00 Add to cart

    This is the recipe for Doggy Ice Cream that we feed our dogs. It's totally complete here and free. I just gave you the option to give me a buck if your dogs are super into this jazzy Doggy Dog Ice Cream. It's just one of the ways you can say, “thanks for being a person who isn't total shit ALL of the time, homie!” One of the dogs only has three legs! That isn't because of the ice cream though. It's really frozen yogs-hurt anyway.

    The Doggy Dog Ice Cream Ingredients:

    1. 1 HEAPIN' Regular Household Eatin' Tablespoon of Peanut Butter (without Xylitol!) – There is no reason to get like really expensive nut butter for Doggy Dog Ice Cream because dogs lick their own assholes.
    2. A healthy teaspoon-ish of honey (from bee butts) – Hopefully we'll have honey from our own St. Louis Urban Bees next year!
    3. 1 overflowing cup of Greek Yogurt – We buy it from Costco. Welcome to Costco, we love you.
    4. A single peeled banana – I'm the only one who eats the brown gross bananas in the house, well me and the dogs. So these dumb mutts are stealin' my nanners.

  • Donald Trump Raped & Murdered a Young Girl in 1990 T-Shirt

    Donald Trump Raped & Murdered a Young Girl in 1990 T-Shirt

    $20.00$23.00 Select options

    Donald Trump raped & murdered a young girl in 1990. I think a lot of Americans feel that way.

    If you've been alive for a while, you probably remember the website glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com as being one of the best expressions of political speech to ever grace the internet. The legal case that the creation of this domain spawned was groundbreaking, and re-affirms the right of the people to parody political figures as speech, and that trademarks (including names) used in parody are protected speech.

    So, that's how you end up with a t-shirt that reads, “Donald Trump Raped & Murdered a Young Girl in 1990” on the website of a shitpot artist from St. Louis.

    (Outrageous Accusation) + (Celebrity) + (Question Why the Celebrity Does Not Deny the Accusation) = (Confirmation of the Falsity of the Accusation + Laughter)

    And I have to tell you, I have been nervous about this post because what I feel like saying is, Mr. Trump, prove to me that you didn't rape & murder a young girl in 1990. And I know you didn't. I’m not accusing you of raping & murdering a young girl in 1990. But that’s the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way.

    This American Apparel t-shirt is the smoothest and softest t-shirt you'll ever wear. Made of fine jersey, it has a durable, vintage feel. These classic-cut shirts are known for their premium quality, as well as ability to stand up to a washing machine (will maintain size and color after many washes).

    • Fine jersey
    • Slim fit
    • Double stitched
    • made in the USA, sweatshop free


  • Donald Trump refuses to release his tax returns because he has donated to NAMBLA?

    Donald Trump refuses to release his tax returns because he has donated to NAMBLA? T-Shirt

    $20.00$23.00 Select options

    I think the quote from this article really sums up these allegations really well; “The only logical conclusion would really be Trump releasing his tax returns but he would never do that because he’s hiding donations to NAMBLA,” he added. “That’s what I’ve heard from some very smart people anyway.”

    When confronted about GOP presidential nominee, Donald Trump’s alleged $10 million donation to the organization, Victor could not verify the claim.

    “Membership anonymity is our top priority. Disclosing the identities of our members jeopardizes their safety. We do not release any information that could put our members at risk. Nobody should care even if Mr. Trump did in fact donate to our organization. Man-boy love is a natural and we should not deny people who love each other the right to be together. I can’t comment on why Mr. Trump has not yet released his tax returns.

    NAMBLA neither confirms nor denies Trump’s donation allegations

    Funny, I heard the same thing from some very smart people anyway.

    This American Apparel t-shirt is the smoothest and softest t-shirt you’ll ever wear. Made of fine jersey, it has a durable, vintage feel. These classic-cut shirts are known for their premium quality, as well as ability to stand up to a washing machine (will maintain size and color after many washes).

    • Fine jersey
    • Slim fit
    • Double stitched
    • made in the USA, sweatshop free


  • Drawing Ideas and Hammerstump – 10×8 Mini Poster

    $10.00 Add to cart

    On the left you’ll find some ideas that we came up with – you may even see a couple in there that are on this site, too! Ca-razy how that works, eh!?

    On the right is a stump with a hammer, as God truly intended.

    This 10″ x 8″ mini-poster has been digitally printed in America on acid-free, archival matte paper. This piece of shit is sure to last you a lifetime and will most likely curse your children’s walls as well.


  • Flamingo Playing a Lyre & Highway Traffic Prawn – 10×8 Mini Poster

    $10.00 Add to cart

    You know what’s not easy? Playing a string instrument with feathers. Go grow feathers and try it sometime – I bet you couldn’t even grow feathers.

    Highway Traffic Prawn doesn’t mind traffic because everything has been taken from him.

    This 10″ x 8″ mini-poster has been digitally printed in America on acid-free, archival matte paper. This piece of shit is sure to last you a lifetime and will most likely curse your children’s walls as well.


  • Fogelbach / Snarzyk – Keep America Shitty Unisex T-Shirt

    $20.00$24.50 Select options

    Fuck this bullshit. In the 2016 Presidential election I’m voting for the Fogelbach / Snarzyk ticket. Through their vision we will Keep America Shitty.

    Yep, You Read That Right™ – I’m sick of this already and I’ve found the two men who I think can run this country in just as fucked up a manner as we are used to, but not make America any shittier. A vote for Fogelbach / Snarzyk is a vote for rock fucking bottom. Only a true Garbage Person™ would “throw away their vote” on a joke candidate.

    It’s not a joke, bitch. I think these two would do a better job than any options I have, and I’d hate to “throw away my vote” on two candidates who were in favor of the Iraq war. Fuck them both.

    This super-soft, baby-knit t-shirt looks great on both men and women – it fits like a well-loved favorite. Like your underpants or that DVD that you swear you don’t own. Made from 100% cotton, except for heather colors, which contain polyester. We don’t know what the fuck a heather color is either, but we’re assuming it’s colors only like by people with the name, “Heather”

    • 100% ring-spun cotton (heather colors contain polyester, whoever she is)
    • Baby-knit jersey (not made from real babies)
    • Shoulder-to-shoulder taping (does not use real tape)
    • Cover stitched and hemmed sleeves (what)
    • Side-seamed (ok)


  • Formal Crustaceans – 10×8 Mini Poster

    $10.00 Add to cart

    These formal crustaceans occupy time and spaces on pages occupied at the same time by my charming illustrations.

    This 10″ x 8″ mini-poster has been digitally printed in America on acid-free, archival matte paper. This piece of shit is sure to last you a lifetime and will most likely curse your children’s walls as well.


  • fsociety arcade t-shirt

    fsociety Arcade T-Shirt / Mr. Robot

    $20.00$23.00 Select options

    I can’t help that I’m in love with the dumb circus typeface that I used to make the fsociety arcade t-shirt from Mr. Robot. Lovingly recreated and crapified, this thing looks just like a shirt with “fsociety” written on the front of it. Why buy one when you can buy two!? You know what this is. Get some.

    This is a classic tee that has a light feel. Made of 100% ringspun cotton (except for heather colors, which contain 10% polyester).

    • 100% ringspun lightweight cotton
    • Pre-shrunk
    • Tubular construction
    • Shoulder-to-shoulder tape
    • Seamless collar
    • Double-needle sleeve and bottom hem